Hello, my name is Lydia.
I’m currently with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. Recently my ex has been contacting me; there has always been unfinished business with him. My ex is a massive player, but with me he’s nice and it’s familiar as we more or less grew up together. I really enjoy his company, and if I’m being completely honest fancy him.
I could never split up with my current boyfriend because there will always be the possible regret of losing the person I care for most. But with my ex, there is excitement and laughter that I think has gone for my current boyfriend.
I’ve recently met up with my ex, without my current boyfriend knowing, and now feel really guilty and cannot get him out of my head. If I tell my current boyfriend about meeting my ex he will be livid.
Please advise me on what to do.
Hello Lydia. Why do I feel like you have the answer to your question?
There’s no way you can have a successful relationship with your current boyfriend when your ex is “unfinished business”. You are probably bored with your current boyfriend because it is a stable relationship. No drama. My best advice will be to talk to someone who has been married forever. Because, let me tell you Lydia, Stable relationships are kinder boring, as a matter of fact, Chris Rock has a whole show about how boring a stable marriage is “married and bored or single and lonely…” If you are bored, you should get to know your boyfriend, pick up a book, join a gym, get an extra degree, try some of my recipes; something that builds you up!
You need to move on and move up. Believe me sweetie, one day you will look back and laugh at how stupid you were by entertaining the idea of getting back with a player. If you can “BLOCK” your ex then you’re starting the process of moving on from him but if you can’t, then you need to decide if he’s worth having in your life and where he fits in your life.
I see this all the time; girl will give me an hour speech on how horrible a guy is to them and ask me to help solve it. No, Lydia: get a mirror, some tissue, chocolate and wine, close your door and be honest with yourself. Cry, as much as you need to, I promise you it helps.
Above all else, your current guy’s reaction to finding out that you met with your ex should tell you where you stand. You need to be true to yourself to sort this issue. You need a man who supports you and respects you and keeps you happy…but do you need a man who’s a player?